Chosen For Adoption

Yesterday was the annual Chosen Marathon for Adoption race, a half and full marathon race, the purpose of it to raise funds for families pursuing adoption.  This race has a special place in our family as it was the primary fundraising driver for our adoption along with the generous support of the Abba Fund.  If I could only run one race a year, this would be the one.  I'm pretty sure I'll run it every year for a team of either someone I know or friend of a friend, or just pick a random team that would benefit.

The race shirt has the phrase "sweat and sacrifice" on the back, and as we well know it's a huge undertaking to adopt.  Being a runner, I had a great time racing (and a great race, set a new personal best for my half marathon time by 8 minutes!).  What really stood out though was all of the racers who I could tell were not runners.  People who came out and ran to financially and emotionally support family and friends who ran for them and their adoptions.  Who ran for an orphan they had never met.  Who truly "sweated and sacrificed" for families they love, or are friends of, or for someone they may not even know (we had all of the above for our team in 2011). 

I think that is what makes the race and day so special, in that it's not just financial support for a faceless cause.  It is real help for real people and to literally change or even save a life.  To change families.  I was talking with one of my kids and they made the point that it's hard to remember a time when Kayleigh and Michael weren't a part of our family.  It's only been a year and a half since they walked out of the plane in San Antonio, but I see the point.  It seems like they've always been ours, and have been such a joy and blessing in our family. 

I often wonder if it is they who have gained more by being adopted, or us by having them added to our family.  I know their likely fate if they had not been adopted and it would not have been good, but I also know that we've so enjoyed getting to be their dad, mom, brother, sister, family.  I think we've all been blessed by it!

News Is Good News

Being as busy and always on the go as I am, I am thankful for reminders so that I don't let things fall through the cracks.  We got a reminder letter from the Ukranian embassy here in the states to send in our annual report on the kids.  When you adopt from Ukraine the embassy here wants you to send a report on how your adopted kids are doing up until they reach the age of 18.

I had to laugh when I got the letter because I had totally forgotten about this.  Not so much as that I just had forgotten about it (which I had, hey I'm A GUY, I'll never remember something a year in advance....), but more so because as I thought about it, I don't really think of K & M as being our adopted kids.  They're just our kids.  Honestly, I would have to put some real thought into what life was like before they got here.

We still get a lot of comments and observations on how well they're doing and fitting in, and those would probably be understatements of how well it's gone.  They fit into our family so well, jumped into their new family and melded in like butter on hot toast, and have been a true joy and blessing to our family.  To us all it just seems natural like they've always been here!

That's one of the big reasons I keep on blogging now.  It's an amazingly wonderful adoption story.  A great success story.  A huge blessing.  And we don't hear enough of these.  People and media and all will greatly tend to highlight all the negative stories, all the adoption horror stories (and to be fair, there are more than enough of those!).  BUT, there are also great stories like ours, where orphans and families are brought together and lives are changed for the better.  Those should be heard as well.

I am very much looking forward to sharing our story with the embassy so that they may know that these two kids are 6092 miles away from where we found them, but they are now HOME :)

17 Again

Today is a special day in that we get to celebrate Kayleigh's 17th birthday!  I now have TWO 17 year old daughters!  I have to laugh when I get the usual how many kids and how old questions, it always gets a great response :)

OK, so I haven't blogged in awhile, which usually happens right after I say that I'll be better at it.  The kids are doing great.  They have been ours going on 17 months now and safe to say it just seems like normal.  They all had a great summer and our family has bonded so well, so the lack of blogging is 1) schedule, I just have a full one! and 2) life just seems normal, even the eventful days.  I do want to keep blogging as I firmly believe that so much of the adoption adventure is what happens after you bring your kids home!

Anyway, today is Kayleigh's birthday and she is very excited about it, although she refuses to select Texas Roadhouse for her birthday dinner as they make you sit on a saddle while they sing happy birthday.  I am not sure she totally grasps there WILL be an embarrassing happy birthday dinner song, even if I have to sing it myself..... :)  Kayleigh has continued to flourish into a beautiful young lady.  She is truly a stunner with those huge blue eyes and big smile, super smart and a truly nice person.  She has that playful personality and sense of humor that is a trademark of us.  If you didn't know she wasn't biologically related, you would never guess it.  I am so very happy that we have her!

Michael has continued to blossom as well.  He has grown a lot recently and is getting taller.  I still marvel at the total transformation he has gone through since coming here.  He is quite a handsome young man, very smart and athletic, and we have gotten a lot closer.  He and I did a father and son weekend to the coast this summer for swimming and a lot of fishing, and it was a great weekend for us.

We're back into fall (although you'd never know it by the Texas weather...) and school.  I promise I will get back in the blogging saddle for more excitement!

All In

Today is one of those days where I will hug my kids more than average.  It has been a year today that a very special family unexpectedly lost one of their children.  It is one of those days where you find yourself praying all day for them to know they are loved and to have peace that she is with God, but heartbreaking as well as you know how much today will hurt for them and those who love them.  As a husband and parent there is nothing you pray for more not to happen than to lose your spouse or child.

We've always had a special family bond.  I married above my pay grade so to speak, and our three kids we had have been second to none.  Our kids have always been everything and we've always gone all in to ensure they knew they were loved, cared for, provided for.  I still remember telling Bekah one night that I loved her and she kinda gave me this "Yeah I know" response.  I asked her how she knew, and she said "Because you  tell me ALL THE TIME!".  Win :)

When our family chose to pursue adoption, it was an all in proposition.  When we hosted Kayleigh the summer before, and talked to her about us wanting to adopt her and her brother, and she said yes she wanted to be adopted by our family, there was no way we were going to break that promise to come and get them.  From that moment we were all in to get them.  It was difficult as we were up against the clock as she neared aging out of the orphanage system (she flew to her new home in the states 3 weeks before she would have aged out....).

The thing that has probably amazed us the most is that our newly expanded family had the SAME special family bond.  God brought two kids into our family that are SO us that I just have to laugh about it.  We made the decision to open our homes and hearts and just love them as we did our "domestics", and the results have been wonderful.  I was out riding bikes with them a couple nights ago, just a nice easy ride around the neighborhood at sunset.  They both had this happy, peaceful look on their faces that comes from inside.  It was more beautiful that the sunset.

There are so many things we go part of the way on in the world and can get away with it.  When it comes to our kids, especially with orphans who have had nothing and need everything, be prepared to go all in, nothing less will make the cut.  The rewards are beyond words.  Go all in with your kids today.

Fathers Day

OK, so I have been terrible about getting to the blog which in many ways is a great thing as it means we are just business as usual.  It has been 13 months since we brought Kayleigh and Michael home with us and we are doing our usual things.   Work is work, wife and kids, karate and dance, skool (yes I spell it wrong on purpose....), friends and activities, etc etc.  I find that a seven day week may not always be long enough!  I find that there is little "me" time but considering I get to spend so much with family, I can't complain :)

K & M continue to flourish here in their new family, although I wouldn't really call us new in some regards.  While most people in adoption, especially with adopting older kids, would tell us we're still early in our journey (and they are correct....) it just seems like normal life to us.  Both kids are warm and sweet, give big hugs, and we have many laughs together.  They seem to love their life here and being a part of our family.  We feel the same!

Being a dad is pretty much about as good as it gets.  I have always adored and treasured our 3 domestics (as I call them ... ;) and get so much joy from adding to our family.  I love having daughters and adding a 3rd one the mix has been so wonderful!  Having a son was tremendous, and adding another son (plus some much needed testosterone to the family dynamic....) has been amazing.  There is so much power in being a dad to shape and guide a child's life, and it is truly a privilege to get to do that.  There is no better job in the world.

We still keep in touch with folks back in Ukraine, so with sadness recently we heard that one of the kids from Kayleigh's graduating class has passed away from an accident.  Lives without direction seldom go well and unfortunately some don't end well, or tragically end early.  The statistics for the fate of un-adopted kids are sobering and saddening.  Kayleigh was in a class of 30 students, who upon graduation of 9th grade would age out of the adoption system and be on their own. 

She was the one who made it out before the last bell rang (last class of the year....) and got a family and a future, a dad and mom, brother and sisters, love and laughter.  That is the best Fathers Day present of all :)

Beating The Odds

We've had a lot of fun watching Kayleigh & Michael achieve some nice accomplishments this past week or so in some of their activities.  Michael tested for and earned his advanced orange belt in tae kwon do class.  It was his first test with the adult class as he has aged up into that group and he continues to excel in it.  Yesterday was Kayleigh & Alyssa's dance recital and it was wonderful.  Kayleigh looked truly beautiful and did great!

I saw a Facebook post from someone else in the adoption arena that reminded me just how amazingly blessed our family is to have these two kids as ours now, and how absurdly poor the odds were for them.  Older kids rarely get adopted.  Speaking statistically and watching reality play out, the odds are overwhelming that families who adopt will seek babies or younger children.  We had long planned on adoption, and yes for a younger child, but God has His plans and obviously we ended up in a different country, number and age!

Kayleigh was 15 when our adoption finalized and less than a month away from aging out of the adoption system and ending up on the streets (in Ukraine you age out when you graduate 9th grade....).  For kids who end up on their own, statistically they have a 90% chance of failure.  Failure is ending up in prostitution, crime (and subsequently prison...) to try and survive, or suicide to end trying to survive.  She has grown into a crazy beautiful 16 year old, so it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where her life would have ended up.

To watch her up on stage, looking so beautiful, happy and smiling, surrounded by classmate friends, and surrounded by family afterwards, is nothing short of an odds-defying miracle.  To spend 29 dance routines sitting next to Michael (he did great...) , knowing that he would have simply followed older boys into crime and jail or gotten himself killed, is a miracle.

I am going to hug my kids today.  A lot :)

Happy Mothers Day!

Wishing my beautiful wife a very Happy Mothers Day!  We have five very awesome and fortunate kids who are loved beyond words and are very blessed to have you!

Happy V Day!

I'm up too early this morning and see a Facebook post from our friend Alex back in Ukraine that it is V Day there.  V Day is Victory Day in Ukraine that marks the end of World War II.  We saw the memorials there in Kyiv and Zhytomr while we were there and it's a big deal there (as were the memorials!).  For all of the challenges their country may be going through, Ukrainians have a deep sense of national pride (the ramp up of excitement for the Euro Cup and the game they won in it, you'd be blown away at how excited they were....) and a true love for their country.

For us it held a special meaning as that was the day we got in the plane with our two new family members and watched Ukraine disappear under our 737 as we flew to Germany on our first leg of our journey home.  It was a very early morning heading to the airport (we were hoping it would be open as it was a national holiday, and the whole country pretty much shuts down for a holiday...).  Our driver Leo there in Kyiv got us all squished into his VW van and to the airport, and was so good in getting us and our bags to ticketing and all the way to security.  That was a nervous point as we had the super duper papers inspection for Kayleigh and Michael as we were taking them out of the country!  All was good (we're trying to make sure we give the checkpoint guy the right papers which is a bit tricky considering their in Ukrainian....) but did it right and off we went to the gate.  It was a chilly morning but a delightfully short walk to the plane (they don't pull up to the building, you take a bus out to the plane on the tarmac....)

Adoption is a long and stressful process and for me, the fat lady wasn't going to sing until that plane left the ground (you never know what weird curve ball will come your way....).  It would be hard to express the feeling of the wheels lifting up off the runway, and being able to look at our 5 kids all very excited for the long, victorious flight home!

One Year!

Today, one year ago, Kayleigh & Michael walked out of a plane in San Antonio, Texas and into their new life as 2 of the Fab 5 Tansey kids, and newly minted Americans :)  It's been an amazing year as we've watched God totally change their lives!  They are both wonderful kids and it's been a true pleasure to get to be their new parents, we've enjoyed every day they've been here, and are looking forward to so many more!

Pink Slips!

It was one year ago today that all the hurdles were cleared and after 40 days in Ukraine, we became the legal parents of Kayleigh and Michael!  Needless to say we were really, really happy to reach that point in the adoption process, to be done with all the paperwork, waiting, visas, waiting, passports, waiting, home studies, waiting, fundraising, waiting, flying, waiting, translating, waiting, immigration....  you get the idea!

We so very much wanted to get past all the "temporary" pieces of the adoption process and arrive at that point where there was one simple fact: that they were our family and we were theirs!  God really moved in the whole thing from the beginning and to this day, and they have always been a natural fit for us and us for them.  You would never guess they've been with us a year and not their whole lives.  It has been nothing short of a miraculous year as they jumped right into our family life, have been truly wonderful kids, and truly a blessing to get to have and to love.

Both kids have blossomed and grown so much in the past year.  Kayleigh is a beautiful 16 year old girl now who is awesome, super smart, and has the Tansey sense of humor.  She excels in her schoolwork, makes friends easily, is fantastic with little kids.  I love the time we spend together driving home from dance class, hanging out and McDonalds getting ice cream and fries, and our endless games of tag in the car!

Michael is so different than when we met him.  He has gone from a quiet and pretty shy boy to a wonderfully confident teenager.  He's not quite the student Kayleigh is (then, what teen boy is.....) but we can tell he is very smart, and very athletic!  He is a very warm and happy person and a true joy to spend time with.  He's jumped into martial arts with Dylan and I and has excelled, and us three men have a great time together.

Thanks to all of you who have been on the journey with us since its inception and have stayed along as we continue the ride.  It has been truly gratifying to know that God has found a place in the world for them where they may have every opportunity to have a great life.  We are glad we get to be a part of it.