We've been enjoying the Christmas season with our expanded family this year. This was the first full year of Kayleigh & Michael being part of our family and it has gone exceedingly well. We still get comments from people saying that it is pretty much the best adoption story they've seen or heard of. There were a lot of factors that played into our family being a great fit for them, but in the end I think it's just a God thing, taking two orphans that statistically had no real chance of getting adopted and finding the ideal family for them 6092 miles away!
We had a great Christmas time with the kids this year. It's always a blast doing Christmas with the kids but in some ways it's like going back in time when it's a new things, as many things still are for K & M. We give each kid a budget for shopping for presents and a lot of driving them here and there to do their shopping. You will hear many stories of older adopted kids being extremely selfish and survivalist in nature (in knowing the situations they come from that would be normal....) but K & M are not really that way. They really enjoy giving!
Christmas morning ended up really being Christmas afternoon as our crew doesn't leap out of bed in the morning on the days they don't have to :) We had a great time opening presents and just being a family. I will still marvel almost daily at how natural it seems to have them in our family, and how much I love getting to be their dad now.
I've had some time off here around the holidays so have been enjoying one on one dates with the kids (it's something we do to get special alone time with each kid, away from distractions, siblings.....) and that has been wonderful. Usually families with multiple kids have one that is a train wreck or something. We've got five teenagers, two that we didn't get early in life, and yet all five are pretty awesome people :)
2014 is swiftly approaching and the goals are set for the year. It will be a big year for kids ages as we'll have our first non-teenage child (Bekah turns 20....), TWO more adult children as Alyssa and Kayleigh hit 18, and another sweet 16 with Dylan in the spring. Michael is still the baby who will turn a mere 15 in the spring as well.
All of the kids bring up adopting again, with Kayleigh and Michael being big proponents of it (although I think some of Michael's motivation is to not be the baby of the family .... :). I think we need more bedrooms....
Wrapping up the holiday season (and Hallmark movie marathon, Kayleigh and I are hooked.....) and looking forward to an amazing year to come. Best wishes to each of you and your families, thanks for reading along and being a part of our family adoption adventure!
Welcome to our blog! We are so excited that you would take the time to follow our adoption journey! Thanks for coming along for the ride as our adoption of Kayleigh and Michael was completed in May 2012 and as we embrace our new world of parenting five teenagers!
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Road Trip
We had our first major road trip over the Thanksgiving holiday, trekking 1200 miles up to frigid Wisconsin. Jodi's mom had passed away so we were heading up for the services for her. Not why you would want to go, but the silver lining was reuniting family and Jodi's family getting to meet and spend time with Kayleigh & Michael for the first time.
Road trips are great as you get to eliminate the rest of the real word and just spend a couple days over-packed in a car without the distractions of a typical day, each junk food, and see how flat the Midwest is!
The kids had a great trip up and we were blessed by snow the night we arrived (the kids have really been wanting snow). We had weeks of snow when we arrived in Ukraine to finalize our adoption, and K & M are accustomed to snow every year and I'm sure plenty of it. Our others, well, not so lucky, I think we've gotten a quick bit of it 3 times since we moved back to Texas in 2001. Anyway, the kids got snow fun all week because that stuff don't melt when it's 22 degrees!
Our Fab 5 got to reunite and spend a ton of time with their 4 cousins up there and they all got along very well. Honestly, we just didn't see them a whole lot because they were always hanging out playing in the snow, gaming, watching movies, and anything else they could think of. It was a great time for them to connect with more of their new family.
We're back home in Texas now and the cold followed up, so it's below freezing here as well, but no snow for us to play in :( Fear not, it'll be back up in the warm range before we know it!
Now we're getting into Christmas mode, the tree is up and we're decorating it today, and the kids are getting excited as the holiday approaches. Kayleigh is a Hallmark channel Christmas movie - holic, so we're getting our (over)fill of the movies. Some are cute, some are truly awful, but we are truly blessed to have her here to make us watch them to begin with! Michael has developed quite an interest in American football so at least I have that to counter balance a bit :)
This will be the wrap up for their first full year here in America, we are so glad they are here!
Road trips are great as you get to eliminate the rest of the real word and just spend a couple days over-packed in a car without the distractions of a typical day, each junk food, and see how flat the Midwest is!
The kids had a great trip up and we were blessed by snow the night we arrived (the kids have really been wanting snow). We had weeks of snow when we arrived in Ukraine to finalize our adoption, and K & M are accustomed to snow every year and I'm sure plenty of it. Our others, well, not so lucky, I think we've gotten a quick bit of it 3 times since we moved back to Texas in 2001. Anyway, the kids got snow fun all week because that stuff don't melt when it's 22 degrees!
Our Fab 5 got to reunite and spend a ton of time with their 4 cousins up there and they all got along very well. Honestly, we just didn't see them a whole lot because they were always hanging out playing in the snow, gaming, watching movies, and anything else they could think of. It was a great time for them to connect with more of their new family.
We're back home in Texas now and the cold followed up, so it's below freezing here as well, but no snow for us to play in :( Fear not, it'll be back up in the warm range before we know it!
Now we're getting into Christmas mode, the tree is up and we're decorating it today, and the kids are getting excited as the holiday approaches. Kayleigh is a Hallmark channel Christmas movie - holic, so we're getting our (over)fill of the movies. Some are cute, some are truly awful, but we are truly blessed to have her here to make us watch them to begin with! Michael has developed quite an interest in American football so at least I have that to counter balance a bit :)
This will be the wrap up for their first full year here in America, we are so glad they are here!
Saturday, November 16, 2013
National Adoption Month
November is National Adoption Month. Adoption Sunday was a few weeks back. Tomorrow will be National Tomato Day (ok, I made that one up....). Our calendars are chock full of days and months that have been earmarked for some event or cause. The day or month comes, gets a bunch of hoorah and then goes back into the calendar closet to collect dust until the day or month comes back around.
My question to each and all of us is what will you really do with that event or cause. Obviously in the case of our family, adoption is something near to our hearts. It is much more than an event, cause, or date on a calendar. It's our daughter and son. It's two kids that had no hope of a real life or future, if they made it that far alive. It's a beautiful daughter who would have by now probably have been forced into horrible life choices by predatory people or lack of any other options, or dead. It's a wonderful son who would continue to ride out the orphanage ride until he aged out, and ended up in prison, or dead.
To us it is very real and personal. It was not just something to fight and sacrifice for, it was SOMEONE to fight and sacrifice for. The question for all is what will you do. To what extent would you fight and sacrifice to protect and save your own children. To what extent would you fight and sacrifice to protect and save a child that you would have to choose to make your own.
Adoption isn't the easiest road which is always baffling to me. There are millions of children literally dying to have a family. The process and cost of adoption makes it really, really hard to get it done. For any of us who already had children prior to adoption we know we would do anything for them. We would kill to protect them and die to save them. We would sacrifice any personal want or need to provide for them. There are literally millions of orphans out there who need someone to save their life. Let's go get them.
My question to each and all of us is what will you really do with that event or cause. Obviously in the case of our family, adoption is something near to our hearts. It is much more than an event, cause, or date on a calendar. It's our daughter and son. It's two kids that had no hope of a real life or future, if they made it that far alive. It's a beautiful daughter who would have by now probably have been forced into horrible life choices by predatory people or lack of any other options, or dead. It's a wonderful son who would continue to ride out the orphanage ride until he aged out, and ended up in prison, or dead.
To us it is very real and personal. It was not just something to fight and sacrifice for, it was SOMEONE to fight and sacrifice for. The question for all is what will you do. To what extent would you fight and sacrifice to protect and save your own children. To what extent would you fight and sacrifice to protect and save a child that you would have to choose to make your own.
Adoption isn't the easiest road which is always baffling to me. There are millions of children literally dying to have a family. The process and cost of adoption makes it really, really hard to get it done. For any of us who already had children prior to adoption we know we would do anything for them. We would kill to protect them and die to save them. We would sacrifice any personal want or need to provide for them. There are literally millions of orphans out there who need someone to save their life. Let's go get them.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Orphan Sunday
Today is Orphan Sunday in churches across America where they will highlight the need to rescue orphans, and to celebrate the ones that have been rescued. In our circles it has been truly wonderful to see so many children be brought into homes and families and to have the opportunity to have a family, be loved, and have a future :)
To be totally honest, I'm not the biggest fan of making a scene over our two adopted kids. We have generally skipped these days at church. It's not that I don't support celebrating all the kids who have been adopted, or support the cause of adoption (obviously, we do....). I just don't want them to feel like they are something other than us, or different, or like they were a project or something. I hope that makes sense. To me, they are just my kids. I had 3 kids. Now I have 5 kids. Not 3 kids plus to adopted. Just 5 kids :)
When we adopted Kayleigh and Michael, I know I made the decision to just have them be my kids. In the words of Gary Smalley, love is a decision. I decided to just love them as my kids, even though I had not been their parent for the first 15 and 13 years of their lives. To just accept and love them, to treat them no differently than the others. To just have 5 kids. Same household rules, same expectations, same love, same bad jokes, same wrestling and tickling (yes, it still drives Jodi nuts.... :).
As with our first 3 kids, there is still that level of each relationship being different as each kid is different in personality, etc, but they just part of us. I think for our family that has been a great way to go. K & M have integrated into our family so very well. I was talking with one of my girls and their comment was that it was hard to think of the time when they weren't part of our family.
I enjoy all the things we do together, embarrassing Kayleigh at McDonalds (I dance while we wait for our order....), wrestling around or riding bikes with Michael, piled together on the couch watching movies, etc etc. I love getting to love these kids. I don't celebrate their being here today. I celebrate it every day.
To be totally honest, I'm not the biggest fan of making a scene over our two adopted kids. We have generally skipped these days at church. It's not that I don't support celebrating all the kids who have been adopted, or support the cause of adoption (obviously, we do....). I just don't want them to feel like they are something other than us, or different, or like they were a project or something. I hope that makes sense. To me, they are just my kids. I had 3 kids. Now I have 5 kids. Not 3 kids plus to adopted. Just 5 kids :)
When we adopted Kayleigh and Michael, I know I made the decision to just have them be my kids. In the words of Gary Smalley, love is a decision. I decided to just love them as my kids, even though I had not been their parent for the first 15 and 13 years of their lives. To just accept and love them, to treat them no differently than the others. To just have 5 kids. Same household rules, same expectations, same love, same bad jokes, same wrestling and tickling (yes, it still drives Jodi nuts.... :).
As with our first 3 kids, there is still that level of each relationship being different as each kid is different in personality, etc, but they just part of us. I think for our family that has been a great way to go. K & M have integrated into our family so very well. I was talking with one of my girls and their comment was that it was hard to think of the time when they weren't part of our family.
I enjoy all the things we do together, embarrassing Kayleigh at McDonalds (I dance while we wait for our order....), wrestling around or riding bikes with Michael, piled together on the couch watching movies, etc etc. I love getting to love these kids. I don't celebrate their being here today. I celebrate it every day.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Chosen For Adoption
Yesterday was the annual Chosen Marathon for Adoption race, a half and full marathon race, the purpose of it to raise funds for families pursuing adoption. This race has a special place in our family as it was the primary fundraising driver for our adoption along with the generous support of the Abba Fund. If I could only run one race a year, this would be the one. I'm pretty sure I'll run it every year for a team of either someone I know or friend of a friend, or just pick a random team that would benefit.
The race shirt has the phrase "sweat and sacrifice" on the back, and as we well know it's a huge undertaking to adopt. Being a runner, I had a great time racing (and a great race, set a new personal best for my half marathon time by 8 minutes!). What really stood out though was all of the racers who I could tell were not runners. People who came out and ran to financially and emotionally support family and friends who ran for them and their adoptions. Who ran for an orphan they had never met. Who truly "sweated and sacrificed" for families they love, or are friends of, or for someone they may not even know (we had all of the above for our team in 2011).
I think that is what makes the race and day so special, in that it's not just financial support for a faceless cause. It is real help for real people and to literally change or even save a life. To change families. I was talking with one of my kids and they made the point that it's hard to remember a time when Kayleigh and Michael weren't a part of our family. It's only been a year and a half since they walked out of the plane in San Antonio, but I see the point. It seems like they've always been ours, and have been such a joy and blessing in our family.
I often wonder if it is they who have gained more by being adopted, or us by having them added to our family. I know their likely fate if they had not been adopted and it would not have been good, but I also know that we've so enjoyed getting to be their dad, mom, brother, sister, family. I think we've all been blessed by it!
The race shirt has the phrase "sweat and sacrifice" on the back, and as we well know it's a huge undertaking to adopt. Being a runner, I had a great time racing (and a great race, set a new personal best for my half marathon time by 8 minutes!). What really stood out though was all of the racers who I could tell were not runners. People who came out and ran to financially and emotionally support family and friends who ran for them and their adoptions. Who ran for an orphan they had never met. Who truly "sweated and sacrificed" for families they love, or are friends of, or for someone they may not even know (we had all of the above for our team in 2011).
I think that is what makes the race and day so special, in that it's not just financial support for a faceless cause. It is real help for real people and to literally change or even save a life. To change families. I was talking with one of my kids and they made the point that it's hard to remember a time when Kayleigh and Michael weren't a part of our family. It's only been a year and a half since they walked out of the plane in San Antonio, but I see the point. It seems like they've always been ours, and have been such a joy and blessing in our family.
I often wonder if it is they who have gained more by being adopted, or us by having them added to our family. I know their likely fate if they had not been adopted and it would not have been good, but I also know that we've so enjoyed getting to be their dad, mom, brother, sister, family. I think we've all been blessed by it!
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
News Is Good News
Being as busy and always on the go as I am, I am thankful for reminders so that I don't let things fall through the cracks. We got a reminder letter from the Ukranian embassy here in the states to send in our annual report on the kids. When you adopt from Ukraine the embassy here wants you to send a report on how your adopted kids are doing up until they reach the age of 18.
I had to laugh when I got the letter because I had totally forgotten about this. Not so much as that I just had forgotten about it (which I had, hey I'm A GUY, I'll never remember something a year in advance....), but more so because as I thought about it, I don't really think of K & M as being our adopted kids. They're just our kids. Honestly, I would have to put some real thought into what life was like before they got here.
We still get a lot of comments and observations on how well they're doing and fitting in, and those would probably be understatements of how well it's gone. They fit into our family so well, jumped into their new family and melded in like butter on hot toast, and have been a true joy and blessing to our family. To us all it just seems natural like they've always been here!
That's one of the big reasons I keep on blogging now. It's an amazingly wonderful adoption story. A great success story. A huge blessing. And we don't hear enough of these. People and media and all will greatly tend to highlight all the negative stories, all the adoption horror stories (and to be fair, there are more than enough of those!). BUT, there are also great stories like ours, where orphans and families are brought together and lives are changed for the better. Those should be heard as well.
I am very much looking forward to sharing our story with the embassy so that they may know that these two kids are 6092 miles away from where we found them, but they are now HOME :)
I had to laugh when I got the letter because I had totally forgotten about this. Not so much as that I just had forgotten about it (which I had, hey I'm A GUY, I'll never remember something a year in advance....), but more so because as I thought about it, I don't really think of K & M as being our adopted kids. They're just our kids. Honestly, I would have to put some real thought into what life was like before they got here.
We still get a lot of comments and observations on how well they're doing and fitting in, and those would probably be understatements of how well it's gone. They fit into our family so well, jumped into their new family and melded in like butter on hot toast, and have been a true joy and blessing to our family. To us all it just seems natural like they've always been here!
That's one of the big reasons I keep on blogging now. It's an amazingly wonderful adoption story. A great success story. A huge blessing. And we don't hear enough of these. People and media and all will greatly tend to highlight all the negative stories, all the adoption horror stories (and to be fair, there are more than enough of those!). BUT, there are also great stories like ours, where orphans and families are brought together and lives are changed for the better. Those should be heard as well.
I am very much looking forward to sharing our story with the embassy so that they may know that these two kids are 6092 miles away from where we found them, but they are now HOME :)
Sunday, September 29, 2013
17 Again
Today is a special day in that we get to celebrate Kayleigh's 17th birthday! I now have TWO 17 year old daughters! I have to laugh when I get the usual how many kids and how old questions, it always gets a great response :)
OK, so I haven't blogged in awhile, which usually happens right after I say that I'll be better at it. The kids are doing great. They have been ours going on 17 months now and safe to say it just seems like normal. They all had a great summer and our family has bonded so well, so the lack of blogging is 1) schedule, I just have a full one! and 2) life just seems normal, even the eventful days. I do want to keep blogging as I firmly believe that so much of the adoption adventure is what happens after you bring your kids home!
Anyway, today is Kayleigh's birthday and she is very excited about it, although she refuses to select Texas Roadhouse for her birthday dinner as they make you sit on a saddle while they sing happy birthday. I am not sure she totally grasps there WILL be an embarrassing happy birthday dinner song, even if I have to sing it myself..... :) Kayleigh has continued to flourish into a beautiful young lady. She is truly a stunner with those huge blue eyes and big smile, super smart and a truly nice person. She has that playful personality and sense of humor that is a trademark of us. If you didn't know she wasn't biologically related, you would never guess it. I am so very happy that we have her!
Michael has continued to blossom as well. He has grown a lot recently and is getting taller. I still marvel at the total transformation he has gone through since coming here. He is quite a handsome young man, very smart and athletic, and we have gotten a lot closer. He and I did a father and son weekend to the coast this summer for swimming and a lot of fishing, and it was a great weekend for us.
We're back into fall (although you'd never know it by the Texas weather...) and school. I promise I will get back in the blogging saddle for more excitement!
OK, so I haven't blogged in awhile, which usually happens right after I say that I'll be better at it. The kids are doing great. They have been ours going on 17 months now and safe to say it just seems like normal. They all had a great summer and our family has bonded so well, so the lack of blogging is 1) schedule, I just have a full one! and 2) life just seems normal, even the eventful days. I do want to keep blogging as I firmly believe that so much of the adoption adventure is what happens after you bring your kids home!
Anyway, today is Kayleigh's birthday and she is very excited about it, although she refuses to select Texas Roadhouse for her birthday dinner as they make you sit on a saddle while they sing happy birthday. I am not sure she totally grasps there WILL be an embarrassing happy birthday dinner song, even if I have to sing it myself..... :) Kayleigh has continued to flourish into a beautiful young lady. She is truly a stunner with those huge blue eyes and big smile, super smart and a truly nice person. She has that playful personality and sense of humor that is a trademark of us. If you didn't know she wasn't biologically related, you would never guess it. I am so very happy that we have her!
Michael has continued to blossom as well. He has grown a lot recently and is getting taller. I still marvel at the total transformation he has gone through since coming here. He is quite a handsome young man, very smart and athletic, and we have gotten a lot closer. He and I did a father and son weekend to the coast this summer for swimming and a lot of fishing, and it was a great weekend for us.
We're back into fall (although you'd never know it by the Texas weather...) and school. I promise I will get back in the blogging saddle for more excitement!
Sunday, July 7, 2013
All In
Today is one of those days where I will hug my kids more than average. It has been a year today that a very special family unexpectedly lost one of their children. It is one of those days where you find yourself praying all day for them to know they are loved and to have peace that she is with God, but heartbreaking as well as you know how much today will hurt for them and those who love them. As a husband and parent there is nothing you pray for more not to happen than to lose your spouse or child.
We've always had a special family bond. I married above my pay grade so to speak, and our three kids we had have been second to none. Our kids have always been everything and we've always gone all in to ensure they knew they were loved, cared for, provided for. I still remember telling Bekah one night that I loved her and she kinda gave me this "Yeah I know" response. I asked her how she knew, and she said "Because you tell me ALL THE TIME!". Win :)
When our family chose to pursue adoption, it was an all in proposition. When we hosted Kayleigh the summer before, and talked to her about us wanting to adopt her and her brother, and she said yes she wanted to be adopted by our family, there was no way we were going to break that promise to come and get them. From that moment we were all in to get them. It was difficult as we were up against the clock as she neared aging out of the orphanage system (she flew to her new home in the states 3 weeks before she would have aged out....).
The thing that has probably amazed us the most is that our newly expanded family had the SAME special family bond. God brought two kids into our family that are SO us that I just have to laugh about it. We made the decision to open our homes and hearts and just love them as we did our "domestics", and the results have been wonderful. I was out riding bikes with them a couple nights ago, just a nice easy ride around the neighborhood at sunset. They both had this happy, peaceful look on their faces that comes from inside. It was more beautiful that the sunset.
There are so many things we go part of the way on in the world and can get away with it. When it comes to our kids, especially with orphans who have had nothing and need everything, be prepared to go all in, nothing less will make the cut. The rewards are beyond words. Go all in with your kids today.
We've always had a special family bond. I married above my pay grade so to speak, and our three kids we had have been second to none. Our kids have always been everything and we've always gone all in to ensure they knew they were loved, cared for, provided for. I still remember telling Bekah one night that I loved her and she kinda gave me this "Yeah I know" response. I asked her how she knew, and she said "Because you tell me ALL THE TIME!". Win :)
When our family chose to pursue adoption, it was an all in proposition. When we hosted Kayleigh the summer before, and talked to her about us wanting to adopt her and her brother, and she said yes she wanted to be adopted by our family, there was no way we were going to break that promise to come and get them. From that moment we were all in to get them. It was difficult as we were up against the clock as she neared aging out of the orphanage system (she flew to her new home in the states 3 weeks before she would have aged out....).
The thing that has probably amazed us the most is that our newly expanded family had the SAME special family bond. God brought two kids into our family that are SO us that I just have to laugh about it. We made the decision to open our homes and hearts and just love them as we did our "domestics", and the results have been wonderful. I was out riding bikes with them a couple nights ago, just a nice easy ride around the neighborhood at sunset. They both had this happy, peaceful look on their faces that comes from inside. It was more beautiful that the sunset.
There are so many things we go part of the way on in the world and can get away with it. When it comes to our kids, especially with orphans who have had nothing and need everything, be prepared to go all in, nothing less will make the cut. The rewards are beyond words. Go all in with your kids today.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Fathers Day
OK, so I have been terrible about getting to the blog which in many ways is a great thing as it means we are just business as usual. It has been 13 months since we brought Kayleigh and Michael home with us and we are doing our usual things. Work is work, wife and kids, karate and dance, skool (yes I spell it wrong on purpose....), friends and activities, etc etc. I find that a seven day week may not always be long enough! I find that there is little "me" time but considering I get to spend so much with family, I can't complain :)
K & M continue to flourish here in their new family, although I wouldn't really call us new in some regards. While most people in adoption, especially with adopting older kids, would tell us we're still early in our journey (and they are correct....) it just seems like normal life to us. Both kids are warm and sweet, give big hugs, and we have many laughs together. They seem to love their life here and being a part of our family. We feel the same!
Being a dad is pretty much about as good as it gets. I have always adored and treasured our 3 domestics (as I call them ... ;) and get so much joy from adding to our family. I love having daughters and adding a 3rd one the mix has been so wonderful! Having a son was tremendous, and adding another son (plus some much needed testosterone to the family dynamic....) has been amazing. There is so much power in being a dad to shape and guide a child's life, and it is truly a privilege to get to do that. There is no better job in the world.
We still keep in touch with folks back in Ukraine, so with sadness recently we heard that one of the kids from Kayleigh's graduating class has passed away from an accident. Lives without direction seldom go well and unfortunately some don't end well, or tragically end early. The statistics for the fate of un-adopted kids are sobering and saddening. Kayleigh was in a class of 30 students, who upon graduation of 9th grade would age out of the adoption system and be on their own.
She was the one who made it out before the last bell rang (last class of the year....) and got a family and a future, a dad and mom, brother and sisters, love and laughter. That is the best Fathers Day present of all :)
K & M continue to flourish here in their new family, although I wouldn't really call us new in some regards. While most people in adoption, especially with adopting older kids, would tell us we're still early in our journey (and they are correct....) it just seems like normal life to us. Both kids are warm and sweet, give big hugs, and we have many laughs together. They seem to love their life here and being a part of our family. We feel the same!
Being a dad is pretty much about as good as it gets. I have always adored and treasured our 3 domestics (as I call them ... ;) and get so much joy from adding to our family. I love having daughters and adding a 3rd one the mix has been so wonderful! Having a son was tremendous, and adding another son (plus some much needed testosterone to the family dynamic....) has been amazing. There is so much power in being a dad to shape and guide a child's life, and it is truly a privilege to get to do that. There is no better job in the world.
We still keep in touch with folks back in Ukraine, so with sadness recently we heard that one of the kids from Kayleigh's graduating class has passed away from an accident. Lives without direction seldom go well and unfortunately some don't end well, or tragically end early. The statistics for the fate of un-adopted kids are sobering and saddening. Kayleigh was in a class of 30 students, who upon graduation of 9th grade would age out of the adoption system and be on their own.
She was the one who made it out before the last bell rang (last class of the year....) and got a family and a future, a dad and mom, brother and sisters, love and laughter. That is the best Fathers Day present of all :)
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Beating The Odds
We've had a lot of fun watching Kayleigh & Michael achieve some nice accomplishments this past week or so in some of their activities. Michael tested for and earned his advanced orange belt in tae kwon do class. It was his first test with the adult class as he has aged up into that group and he continues to excel in it. Yesterday was Kayleigh & Alyssa's dance recital and it was wonderful. Kayleigh looked truly beautiful and did great!
I saw a Facebook post from someone else in the adoption arena that reminded me just how amazingly blessed our family is to have these two kids as ours now, and how absurdly poor the odds were for them. Older kids rarely get adopted. Speaking statistically and watching reality play out, the odds are overwhelming that families who adopt will seek babies or younger children. We had long planned on adoption, and yes for a younger child, but God has His plans and obviously we ended up in a different country, number and age!
Kayleigh was 15 when our adoption finalized and less than a month away from aging out of the adoption system and ending up on the streets (in Ukraine you age out when you graduate 9th grade....). For kids who end up on their own, statistically they have a 90% chance of failure. Failure is ending up in prostitution, crime (and subsequently prison...) to try and survive, or suicide to end trying to survive. She has grown into a crazy beautiful 16 year old, so it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where her life would have ended up.
To watch her up on stage, looking so beautiful, happy and smiling, surrounded by classmate friends, and surrounded by family afterwards, is nothing short of an odds-defying miracle. To spend 29 dance routines sitting next to Michael (he did great...) , knowing that he would have simply followed older boys into crime and jail or gotten himself killed, is a miracle.
I am going to hug my kids today. A lot :)
I saw a Facebook post from someone else in the adoption arena that reminded me just how amazingly blessed our family is to have these two kids as ours now, and how absurdly poor the odds were for them. Older kids rarely get adopted. Speaking statistically and watching reality play out, the odds are overwhelming that families who adopt will seek babies or younger children. We had long planned on adoption, and yes for a younger child, but God has His plans and obviously we ended up in a different country, number and age!
Kayleigh was 15 when our adoption finalized and less than a month away from aging out of the adoption system and ending up on the streets (in Ukraine you age out when you graduate 9th grade....). For kids who end up on their own, statistically they have a 90% chance of failure. Failure is ending up in prostitution, crime (and subsequently prison...) to try and survive, or suicide to end trying to survive. She has grown into a crazy beautiful 16 year old, so it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where her life would have ended up.
To watch her up on stage, looking so beautiful, happy and smiling, surrounded by classmate friends, and surrounded by family afterwards, is nothing short of an odds-defying miracle. To spend 29 dance routines sitting next to Michael (he did great...) , knowing that he would have simply followed older boys into crime and jail or gotten himself killed, is a miracle.
I am going to hug my kids today. A lot :)
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Happy Mothers Day!
Wishing my beautiful wife a very Happy Mothers Day! We have five very awesome and fortunate kids who are loved beyond words and are very blessed to have you!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Happy V Day!
I'm up too early this morning and see a Facebook post from our friend Alex back in Ukraine that it is V Day there. V Day is Victory Day in Ukraine that marks the end of World War II. We saw the memorials there in Kyiv and Zhytomr while we were there and it's a big deal there (as were the memorials!). For all of the challenges their country may be going through, Ukrainians have a deep sense of national pride (the ramp up of excitement for the Euro Cup and the game they won in it, you'd be blown away at how excited they were....) and a true love for their country.
For us it held a special meaning as that was the day we got in the plane with our two new family members and watched Ukraine disappear under our 737 as we flew to Germany on our first leg of our journey home. It was a very early morning heading to the airport (we were hoping it would be open as it was a national holiday, and the whole country pretty much shuts down for a holiday...). Our driver Leo there in Kyiv got us all squished into his VW van and to the airport, and was so good in getting us and our bags to ticketing and all the way to security. That was a nervous point as we had the super duper papers inspection for Kayleigh and Michael as we were taking them out of the country! All was good (we're trying to make sure we give the checkpoint guy the right papers which is a bit tricky considering their in Ukrainian....) but did it right and off we went to the gate. It was a chilly morning but a delightfully short walk to the plane (they don't pull up to the building, you take a bus out to the plane on the tarmac....)
Adoption is a long and stressful process and for me, the fat lady wasn't going to sing until that plane left the ground (you never know what weird curve ball will come your way....). It would be hard to express the feeling of the wheels lifting up off the runway, and being able to look at our 5 kids all very excited for the long, victorious flight home!
For us it held a special meaning as that was the day we got in the plane with our two new family members and watched Ukraine disappear under our 737 as we flew to Germany on our first leg of our journey home. It was a very early morning heading to the airport (we were hoping it would be open as it was a national holiday, and the whole country pretty much shuts down for a holiday...). Our driver Leo there in Kyiv got us all squished into his VW van and to the airport, and was so good in getting us and our bags to ticketing and all the way to security. That was a nervous point as we had the super duper papers inspection for Kayleigh and Michael as we were taking them out of the country! All was good (we're trying to make sure we give the checkpoint guy the right papers which is a bit tricky considering their in Ukrainian....) but did it right and off we went to the gate. It was a chilly morning but a delightfully short walk to the plane (they don't pull up to the building, you take a bus out to the plane on the tarmac....)
Adoption is a long and stressful process and for me, the fat lady wasn't going to sing until that plane left the ground (you never know what weird curve ball will come your way....). It would be hard to express the feeling of the wheels lifting up off the runway, and being able to look at our 5 kids all very excited for the long, victorious flight home!
Thursday, May 9, 2013
One Year!
Today, one year ago, Kayleigh & Michael walked out of a plane in San Antonio, Texas and into their new life as 2 of the Fab 5 Tansey kids, and newly minted Americans :) It's been an amazing year as we've watched God totally change their lives! They are both wonderful kids and it's been a true pleasure to get to be their new parents, we've enjoyed every day they've been here, and are looking forward to so many more!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Pink Slips!
It was one year ago today that all the hurdles were cleared and after 40 days in Ukraine, we became the legal parents of Kayleigh and Michael! Needless to say we were really, really happy to reach that point in the adoption process, to be done with all the paperwork, waiting, visas, waiting, passports, waiting, home studies, waiting, fundraising, waiting, flying, waiting, translating, waiting, immigration.... you get the idea!
We so very much wanted to get past all the "temporary" pieces of the adoption process and arrive at that point where there was one simple fact: that they were our family and we were theirs! God really moved in the whole thing from the beginning and to this day, and they have always been a natural fit for us and us for them. You would never guess they've been with us a year and not their whole lives. It has been nothing short of a miraculous year as they jumped right into our family life, have been truly wonderful kids, and truly a blessing to get to have and to love.
Both kids have blossomed and grown so much in the past year. Kayleigh is a beautiful 16 year old girl now who is awesome, super smart, and has the Tansey sense of humor. She excels in her schoolwork, makes friends easily, is fantastic with little kids. I love the time we spend together driving home from dance class, hanging out and McDonalds getting ice cream and fries, and our endless games of tag in the car!
Michael is so different than when we met him. He has gone from a quiet and pretty shy boy to a wonderfully confident teenager. He's not quite the student Kayleigh is (then, what teen boy is.....) but we can tell he is very smart, and very athletic! He is a very warm and happy person and a true joy to spend time with. He's jumped into martial arts with Dylan and I and has excelled, and us three men have a great time together.
Thanks to all of you who have been on the journey with us since its inception and have stayed along as we continue the ride. It has been truly gratifying to know that God has found a place in the world for them where they may have every opportunity to have a great life. We are glad we get to be a part of it.
We so very much wanted to get past all the "temporary" pieces of the adoption process and arrive at that point where there was one simple fact: that they were our family and we were theirs! God really moved in the whole thing from the beginning and to this day, and they have always been a natural fit for us and us for them. You would never guess they've been with us a year and not their whole lives. It has been nothing short of a miraculous year as they jumped right into our family life, have been truly wonderful kids, and truly a blessing to get to have and to love.
Both kids have blossomed and grown so much in the past year. Kayleigh is a beautiful 16 year old girl now who is awesome, super smart, and has the Tansey sense of humor. She excels in her schoolwork, makes friends easily, is fantastic with little kids. I love the time we spend together driving home from dance class, hanging out and McDonalds getting ice cream and fries, and our endless games of tag in the car!
Michael is so different than when we met him. He has gone from a quiet and pretty shy boy to a wonderfully confident teenager. He's not quite the student Kayleigh is (then, what teen boy is.....) but we can tell he is very smart, and very athletic! He is a very warm and happy person and a true joy to spend time with. He's jumped into martial arts with Dylan and I and has excelled, and us three men have a great time together.
Thanks to all of you who have been on the journey with us since its inception and have stayed along as we continue the ride. It has been truly gratifying to know that God has found a place in the world for them where they may have every opportunity to have a great life. We are glad we get to be a part of it.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Temperature Rising
I just rolled back in from a quick 3 mile run late this morning and worked up a nice little sweat. It's April here in Texas so we're bouncing around in temperatures, but it's definitely working its way up to consistently warm on it's way to another hot, dry summer. We're sun people so we don't mind a bit, and we'll see how much Kayleigh and Michael have acclimated to our warmer part of the world :)
I was chatting on Facebook with a couple of our friends back in Ukraine and remembering our trip last spring. When we were packing for the trip, we used the predicted temperatures for the 4 weeks we anticipated being there, so it was pretty much all cold weather clothing. Naturally, you plan the best you can and then wing it from there, which is what we did. We arrived on the tail end of a very cold winter and basically froze, but our trip extended to 6 1/2 weeks and we hit the warmest May in 30 years!
We had a great time when the weather warmed up in Zhytomr. There was a big park down by the river where we walked to a few times, a really good pizza place Alex showed us. Our pastor friend Andriy and landlord Alex took us around so we could get clothes for warmer weather, and we enjoyed some great time walking around town and seeing the sights. Both of these men were incredible friends to us, we miss them a lot! Air conditioning was sparce (our apartment had none....) and ice infrequent for drinks, but it's amazing how fast you become accustomed to it. It was a long trip (47 days.....) but good friends and nice weather made it a lot better :)
I was chatting on Facebook with a couple of our friends back in Ukraine and remembering our trip last spring. When we were packing for the trip, we used the predicted temperatures for the 4 weeks we anticipated being there, so it was pretty much all cold weather clothing. Naturally, you plan the best you can and then wing it from there, which is what we did. We arrived on the tail end of a very cold winter and basically froze, but our trip extended to 6 1/2 weeks and we hit the warmest May in 30 years!
We had a great time when the weather warmed up in Zhytomr. There was a big park down by the river where we walked to a few times, a really good pizza place Alex showed us. Our pastor friend Andriy and landlord Alex took us around so we could get clothes for warmer weather, and we enjoyed some great time walking around town and seeing the sights. Both of these men were incredible friends to us, we miss them a lot! Air conditioning was sparce (our apartment had none....) and ice infrequent for drinks, but it's amazing how fast you become accustomed to it. It was a long trip (47 days.....) but good friends and nice weather made it a lot better :)
Saturday, April 20, 2013
It's All About YOU!
One of the things we've always liked to do as parents is to spend time with each of our kids one on one. We have found, that as much as we enjoy our family time together, there is definitely a specialness to spending individual time with them. It's been a practice of ours that has allowed us to deepend those relationships, and to really get to know each of our five precious kids.
Initially we didn't dive right into this with Kayleigh and Michael. Being new to our family our three existing (domestics as I call them... :) were the anchor and security blankets for our two new (imports.....) and that family as a whole dynamic was so much better for helping them grow into our family. I think it helped them not feel like they stood out, which made them uncomfortable, but rather allowed them to blend in while they figured out which end was up.
We've been doing the one on one time with them for some months now though and it really is a special time. Last night I took Kayleigh out for a dinner date after she finished dance class (Michael was out with Jodi as well...). We had such an amazing time. We have such a playful fun relationship. I love watching her at dance class, and when she sees me through the window she can't help but burst into a big beautiful smile (she will usually try to play like she's not noticing....). Once we're in the car our somewhat complicated game of car tag begins at some point (there's not a lot of room to avoid being tagged in the car....) and we joke and laugh a lot.
Last night we hit the new Applebee's here in our hometown of Kyle and just had a great time hanging out, giving her lots of hugs, eating dinner (the ribs were actually pretty good....), and watching some XGames BMX event on TV (that one guy bit it pretty hard....). Afterwards a trip for frozen yogurt (we both love junk food....) and home to chill out.
This morning I find out in talking with Alyssa that I think she got a very happy report (just about verbatim it sounds.....) about our date. While Kayleigh will still play it closer to the vest past a certain level, we know that the attention and love we give her is making a huge impact. It is so exciting to know that her life is totally different than it would have been, and that we get to play a part in that.
AND, just to set the record straight, SHE started the game of car tag Friday, not me..... ;)
Initially we didn't dive right into this with Kayleigh and Michael. Being new to our family our three existing (domestics as I call them... :) were the anchor and security blankets for our two new (imports.....) and that family as a whole dynamic was so much better for helping them grow into our family. I think it helped them not feel like they stood out, which made them uncomfortable, but rather allowed them to blend in while they figured out which end was up.
We've been doing the one on one time with them for some months now though and it really is a special time. Last night I took Kayleigh out for a dinner date after she finished dance class (Michael was out with Jodi as well...). We had such an amazing time. We have such a playful fun relationship. I love watching her at dance class, and when she sees me through the window she can't help but burst into a big beautiful smile (she will usually try to play like she's not noticing....). Once we're in the car our somewhat complicated game of car tag begins at some point (there's not a lot of room to avoid being tagged in the car....) and we joke and laugh a lot.
Last night we hit the new Applebee's here in our hometown of Kyle and just had a great time hanging out, giving her lots of hugs, eating dinner (the ribs were actually pretty good....), and watching some XGames BMX event on TV (that one guy bit it pretty hard....). Afterwards a trip for frozen yogurt (we both love junk food....) and home to chill out.
This morning I find out in talking with Alyssa that I think she got a very happy report (just about verbatim it sounds.....) about our date. While Kayleigh will still play it closer to the vest past a certain level, we know that the attention and love we give her is making a huge impact. It is so exciting to know that her life is totally different than it would have been, and that we get to play a part in that.
AND, just to set the record straight, SHE started the game of car tag Friday, not me..... ;)
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Happy 17th Alyssa!
Today is our daughter Alyssa's 17th birthday. Our family is so thankful to have her, it is hard to imagine a better person or one who seems more blessed by God than her. She is ridiculously beautiful both inside and out, talented at anything she does, and has a strength to her that drives her to success at anything she does. She is also probably one of the most special people you will ever meet and has a heart of gold. It is truly a blessing that God chose us to get to be her parents!
When it came to our adoption, it was a family decision to do it, not just us parents dictating that our 3 kids were going to get some siblings. I still remember when we discussed it, their answer was "It's about time!". We took that as a yes :) All of our kids were just as integral in bringing Kayleigh and Michael home we us or any of the many adults who were involved! They worked just as hard at fundraising, encouragement, and to this day have been incredibly selfless, always thinking of others before themselves.
Alyssa was amazing on our trip overseas! She apparently has the gene for picking up foreign languages and learned Ukranian at an amazing rate. Kayleigh has gravitated to her since the moment they met in June 2011 when we hosted her for 5 weeks during the summer, I call them our "twins separated by geography". She has been Kayleigh's anchor in her new life. We owe so much of Kayleigh's success in becoming one of us to Alyssa's generous, loving heart. We are blessed to have her :)
When it came to our adoption, it was a family decision to do it, not just us parents dictating that our 3 kids were going to get some siblings. I still remember when we discussed it, their answer was "It's about time!". We took that as a yes :) All of our kids were just as integral in bringing Kayleigh and Michael home we us or any of the many adults who were involved! They worked just as hard at fundraising, encouragement, and to this day have been incredibly selfless, always thinking of others before themselves.
Alyssa was amazing on our trip overseas! She apparently has the gene for picking up foreign languages and learned Ukranian at an amazing rate. Kayleigh has gravitated to her since the moment they met in June 2011 when we hosted her for 5 weeks during the summer, I call them our "twins separated by geography". She has been Kayleigh's anchor in her new life. We owe so much of Kayleigh's success in becoming one of us to Alyssa's generous, loving heart. We are blessed to have her :)
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
11
Today is the 11 month anniversary of our family returning to Texas from our 47 day adoption adventure in Ukraine! The kids are very wonderful and continue to do amazing. Life as normal today :)
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Happy Happy Easter Easter
Today is Easter here in America. Last year we were in Ukraine during the Easter holiday for both our countries. The Ukrainian Easter date was a week off from the American Easter date, so we got to celebrate Easter twice! Through the off chance meetings and connections while we were there, we ended up with a church family for our stay in Zhytomr so we got to do the whole Easter thing while we were 6,902 miles away from home, and had a wonderful day with our church family that is now on the other side of the world this year.
We still talk about our 47 day journey last year to bring K & M home and although the adoption process can have its stressful points, there were a lot of great memories from the trip. It's funny how you can travel to the other side of the world and in a matter of weeks God provided us with all that we would need materially to complete our adoption, a church family and friends. We still keep in touch with them and follow the weather (it is cold and buried in snow over there, so I'm not minding 81 degrees here in Texas today....).
While we didn't always understand the words being spoken (our translators were awesome but there is only so much they could capture and pass along....) but the heart for God that they had was awesome, and it showed in the way they lived their lives. We were in a world that seemed totally different (different language, alphabet, currency, metric.....) and still cared for and welcomed. Hopefully everyone will feel that way when they walk into a church or spend time with a Christian today. It's not the talk, it's the walk.
We still talk about our 47 day journey last year to bring K & M home and although the adoption process can have its stressful points, there were a lot of great memories from the trip. It's funny how you can travel to the other side of the world and in a matter of weeks God provided us with all that we would need materially to complete our adoption, a church family and friends. We still keep in touch with them and follow the weather (it is cold and buried in snow over there, so I'm not minding 81 degrees here in Texas today....).
While we didn't always understand the words being spoken (our translators were awesome but there is only so much they could capture and pass along....) but the heart for God that they had was awesome, and it showed in the way they lived their lives. We were in a world that seemed totally different (different language, alphabet, currency, metric.....) and still cared for and welcomed. Hopefully everyone will feel that way when they walk into a church or spend time with a Christian today. It's not the talk, it's the walk.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Super Dylan
Today is Dylan's 15th birthday. It's hard to believe he's getting that old (he certainly is getting tall!). When we looked into adoption the doors opened for us to host Kayleigh, and as she had a younger brother in Michael, we ended up being blessed with two new awesome kids into our family. We had gotten to know Kayleigh from the hosting trip but didn't meet Michael until we arrived at the orphanage in Zhytomr a year ago (hard to believe it's been that long!).
We still laugh about when we met Michael. As usual they had to send kids to go find him as he was always out in the woods around the orphanage. When he came into the office he ended up standing next to Dylan and everyone kinda just stopped talking and started looking. It was uncanny, they looked like real brothers! In the year that we've known and had Michael, it has been awesome to see what has literally been a total transformation. What started as a quiet boy who kept to himself and never smiled has become a strong, confident and happy boy. He is very warm and outgoing, excels in sports and has a really good group of friends. He has really been a huge blessing to our family.
I credit Dylan for a lot of this. When you have kids and adopt, it's not just you adopting or taking on the responsibility for parenting your new kids, it falls on the whole family. Dylan has been the best big brother in the world with Michael, took him under his wing as a brother from day one, and has truly helped him become one of us. He really embraced having a brother (he always had wanted one....) and that big brother / little brother relationship has really meant the world to Michael's emergence.
We know that Michael have 2 older brothers back in Ukraine but know so little about them. We pray that they are well and hope that they will know in their hearts that their younger brother is in a family where he is cherised, loved and cared for, and has a big brother here to watch over him. He couldn't be in better hands!
We still laugh about when we met Michael. As usual they had to send kids to go find him as he was always out in the woods around the orphanage. When he came into the office he ended up standing next to Dylan and everyone kinda just stopped talking and started looking. It was uncanny, they looked like real brothers! In the year that we've known and had Michael, it has been awesome to see what has literally been a total transformation. What started as a quiet boy who kept to himself and never smiled has become a strong, confident and happy boy. He is very warm and outgoing, excels in sports and has a really good group of friends. He has really been a huge blessing to our family.
I credit Dylan for a lot of this. When you have kids and adopt, it's not just you adopting or taking on the responsibility for parenting your new kids, it falls on the whole family. Dylan has been the best big brother in the world with Michael, took him under his wing as a brother from day one, and has truly helped him become one of us. He really embraced having a brother (he always had wanted one....) and that big brother / little brother relationship has really meant the world to Michael's emergence.
We know that Michael have 2 older brothers back in Ukraine but know so little about them. We pray that they are well and hope that they will know in their hearts that their younger brother is in a family where he is cherised, loved and cared for, and has a big brother here to watch over him. He couldn't be in better hands!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Peas In A Pod
Last night our family went out to get some dinner (sans Bekah who was working....). We hit Fazoli's in San Marcos, because 1) Alyssa is off from dance for a couple nights with a minor dance boo boo and therefore had a Tuesday night off, and 2) with their Tuesday night deals we can feed a family of seven for $20, and 3) we love the food.
Jodi and I are sitting at a table next to the table with the four kids. It was so awesome to watch them together. Acting all silly and laughing non-stop, making faces and acting all goofy, staring contests, etc etc. They are so happy together. Our family was awesome to begin with, and just fuller of awesomeness now.
It still blows my mind (frequently....) that they have been here less than 10 months, and yet seemed totally transformed by a new family, new world and new life. God is truly amazing:)
Jodi and I are sitting at a table next to the table with the four kids. It was so awesome to watch them together. Acting all silly and laughing non-stop, making faces and acting all goofy, staring contests, etc etc. They are so happy together. Our family was awesome to begin with, and just fuller of awesomeness now.
It still blows my mind (frequently....) that they have been here less than 10 months, and yet seemed totally transformed by a new family, new world and new life. God is truly amazing:)
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Circles of Influence
Probably some of the best advice we got while preparing to adopt was, in the beginning with the newly enlarged family, to keep it simple and small. That is, keep their world small and at time and experience go by and they get more settled, start adding pieces to their life. I think this is especially good advice with older kids since they've already lived a life of sorts, and in some ways it's kinda like rebooting the computer to a whole new, well, everything!
The experience within our family went and has continued to go incredibly well. If you didn't know they were adopted, you wouldn't know. They just fit in. It sounds crazy at time, but it's like we found the other 2 kids that were ours, but like 6000 miles away (well, 6092 to be precise....). They look like us in appearance, act like us (yeah, even the bad sense of humor....) and have blended in like a ninja.
Probably the best outside our home influences have been their activities. All of our kids do something to keep active, it's one of those things we've always promoted and supported. For Kayleigh, she started taking dance classes where Alyssa had started dance the year before. It has been such an incredibly supportive and welcoming environment for her, and they have gone way out of their way to make her feel at home. For Michael, he started taking tae kwon do classes with Dylan and I. We have had the pleasure of watching a scared loner of a little boy transform into a happy and confident teenager, have a bunch of friends to hang out with, and we see him growing in maturity and self assurance every day.
It's been a great ride so far and we're still in the early stages but have enjoyed it so much. I love getting to be a proud parent of the Fab 5. To greet them in the morning with a big hug and tell them I love them. To chase them around the house (they love playing tag....), watching Kayleigh at dance class (big embarrassed smiles when I watch and we are always making faces at each other....), watching Michael spar at class (he's an excellent fighter with awesome kicks....), and tucking them in at night (or mostly saying good night as I hit the rack at a reasonable hour, being a working man....). Mostly the big hugs :)
The experience within our family went and has continued to go incredibly well. If you didn't know they were adopted, you wouldn't know. They just fit in. It sounds crazy at time, but it's like we found the other 2 kids that were ours, but like 6000 miles away (well, 6092 to be precise....). They look like us in appearance, act like us (yeah, even the bad sense of humor....) and have blended in like a ninja.
Probably the best outside our home influences have been their activities. All of our kids do something to keep active, it's one of those things we've always promoted and supported. For Kayleigh, she started taking dance classes where Alyssa had started dance the year before. It has been such an incredibly supportive and welcoming environment for her, and they have gone way out of their way to make her feel at home. For Michael, he started taking tae kwon do classes with Dylan and I. We have had the pleasure of watching a scared loner of a little boy transform into a happy and confident teenager, have a bunch of friends to hang out with, and we see him growing in maturity and self assurance every day.
It's been a great ride so far and we're still in the early stages but have enjoyed it so much. I love getting to be a proud parent of the Fab 5. To greet them in the morning with a big hug and tell them I love them. To chase them around the house (they love playing tag....), watching Kayleigh at dance class (big embarrassed smiles when I watch and we are always making faces at each other....), watching Michael spar at class (he's an excellent fighter with awesome kicks....), and tucking them in at night (or mostly saying good night as I hit the rack at a reasonable hour, being a working man....). Mostly the big hugs :)
Saturday, February 16, 2013
It's A Marathon, Not A Sprint!
Tomorrow very early in the morning I will get up and go to run my first marathon. It's been one of those things I've always wanted to do and the time came where I was in good enough shape, had been running enough to just extend training up to (hopefully) this level, and go for it! It's my first so my only real expectations are to finish, and not come in last place :)
Adoption is very much the same way. There are months or years of work before you actually go to make it happen. You don't know what to expect. There are so many things that can go wrong in the process that can delay or derail your adoption. It can be painful at times. But in the end, when you cross the finish line, I've heard there is a feeling of accomplishment and exhilaration.
We had talked about adopting for many years and the time came when we were ready to go for it. There were times when things could have gone wrong but didn't (we were in excellent hands :) The waiting was the hardest part (and for ours it was certainly NOT the longest it took by far compared to others...). There were stressful times but in the end, it was so totally worth it.
I still remember the feeling of being in the plane as it started rolling away from the gates in Kyiv on May 9th, 2012, with our 5 children on board. It was such an amazing feeling of excitement and thankfulness that God had allowed so many things to go right, for all of the support we had received, and that Kayleigh and Michael were now ours. They've been the best finish line medals of any race we've run :)
Adoption is very much the same way. There are months or years of work before you actually go to make it happen. You don't know what to expect. There are so many things that can go wrong in the process that can delay or derail your adoption. It can be painful at times. But in the end, when you cross the finish line, I've heard there is a feeling of accomplishment and exhilaration.
We had talked about adopting for many years and the time came when we were ready to go for it. There were times when things could have gone wrong but didn't (we were in excellent hands :) The waiting was the hardest part (and for ours it was certainly NOT the longest it took by far compared to others...). There were stressful times but in the end, it was so totally worth it.
I still remember the feeling of being in the plane as it started rolling away from the gates in Kyiv on May 9th, 2012, with our 5 children on board. It was such an amazing feeling of excitement and thankfulness that God had allowed so many things to go right, for all of the support we had received, and that Kayleigh and Michael were now ours. They've been the best finish line medals of any race we've run :)
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Dads and Daughters
Last night I took the girls to the Daddy Daughter dance, which has become an annual excursion for the girls and I. I think this was our 5th time. It is always fun to look at the pictures from each year and see how much they've changed from year to year. Each year I find that they've gotten taller and more beautiful! This year had the extra special addition of having Kayleigh and her first dance. She and her brother have been with our family for 9 months now and she has really blossomed into a beautiful young lady.
While I don't think anyone would understand the workings of the world that led to her being an orphan, I am so glad to God chose me to get to be her daddy. Having a dad is really a pretty big deal to a girl. As we danced last night I would watch the other dads and daughters dancing (mostly to avoid stepping on all the bare toes!....) and across the board it was the same observation: daughters clinging tightly to their dads, wanting to be loved and treasured.
I dance with each girl individually for dances, and then of course the embarrassing dances to the fast songs (the Squiggle dance I created was a big hit..... ;) and then the family dance at the end (3 daughters stacked up ... :) It was so awesome to be able to hold Kayleigh tight and dance with her and tell her I love her. I'm looking at the photo from last night and if you didn't know she wasn't our biological daughter, you'd never guess it. She looks like us, jokes like us. Because she is one of us :)
While I don't think anyone would understand the workings of the world that led to her being an orphan, I am so glad to God chose me to get to be her daddy. Having a dad is really a pretty big deal to a girl. As we danced last night I would watch the other dads and daughters dancing (mostly to avoid stepping on all the bare toes!....) and across the board it was the same observation: daughters clinging tightly to their dads, wanting to be loved and treasured.
I dance with each girl individually for dances, and then of course the embarrassing dances to the fast songs (the Squiggle dance I created was a big hit..... ;) and then the family dance at the end (3 daughters stacked up ... :) It was so awesome to be able to hold Kayleigh tight and dance with her and tell her I love her. I'm looking at the photo from last night and if you didn't know she wasn't our biological daughter, you'd never guess it. She looks like us, jokes like us. Because she is one of us :)
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Two Weeks
OK, so I've been lazy and it's been like two weeks since I last blogged! Hey, busy living the life with the Fab 5! I'm gone during the weekdays and 4 of the 5 weekday evenings out either with the boys at karate class, or on "dance mom" duty bringing Alyssa or Kayleigh home from dance. Wednesday night is our one quiet night family weeknight, depending on whether Bekah is working, or any mix of our kids go to a church youth group that night. I'm doing a lot of running in preparation for my first marathon in February. Kids are going through their schooling, Kayleigh & Michael are both continuing to progress very well in their english, and Alyssa has started learning Russian (I'm going to as well but haven't gotten off the ground yet...). It's nice to have those moments when you pause and take a look, and life seems rather normal after all the time that was spent in the adoption process.
We continue to enjoy our larger family and still bask in the amazement of how good God is. We so truly enjoy how well the post-adoption life has gone and how well K & M have become a natural part of our family. Any issues we've had have been minor, and usually far more attributable to the simple fact that they are just normal teenagers. It is very natural to hold them and tell them we love them, to hang out and watch a movie or play games, have tickle and tag wars, or chat with them. We still know very little of their background, and presume that there has to be not good stuff there, otherwise they wouldn't have ended up in an orphanage in the first place. We continue to just pour on the love, so that the time comes when the layers of the onions begin to peel away, they will know they are in a safe and loving home with a family that cares so deeply for them.
We continue to enjoy our larger family and still bask in the amazement of how good God is. We so truly enjoy how well the post-adoption life has gone and how well K & M have become a natural part of our family. Any issues we've had have been minor, and usually far more attributable to the simple fact that they are just normal teenagers. It is very natural to hold them and tell them we love them, to hang out and watch a movie or play games, have tickle and tag wars, or chat with them. We still know very little of their background, and presume that there has to be not good stuff there, otherwise they wouldn't have ended up in an orphanage in the first place. We continue to just pour on the love, so that the time comes when the layers of the onions begin to peel away, they will know they are in a safe and loving home with a family that cares so deeply for them.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
My Dad Says Hi
Today had one of those really cool post-adoption moments. For our adoption of two orphans who were older in age when we got them (15 and 13) there are always those questions of the small yet important nature to be addressed. One of those questions of course is what do you have your new children call you? Because Kayleigh & Michael were older and hadn't been in a family for awhile, we decided to let it roll with what they were comfortable with, which has typically been Chris & Jodi. We though about the Mom & Dad thing but in the end our decision was to let them grow into the intimacy that is family, rather than try to manufacture it with titles (this naturally was our call on our two kids, not a judgment for anyone else, every family and adoptee is different....).
I got home from running errands today and Michael was playing XBox with his bestie Gabe, so I told him to tell his friend hello. He says "my dad says hello!". It was the first time he has referred to me as Dad rather than Chris. I though that was pretty extra cool :) Well, probably more like extraordinarily cool.... We continue to work them into our lives and it all seems normal now and we love having them as our children. Doesn't really sound weird to say I have 5 kids now.
It's been over 8 months now since they arrived in America and it continues to be one of those awesome stories you don't hear enough, which is one of the reasons I keep the blog chugging along. The media is johnny on the spot with the negative stories but don't celebrate all of the great stories of orphans who were spared a wasted (or worse....) life, to a life full of promise and potential. Neither of them talks much (none for Michael) of their past so we know as trust grows that there will undoubtedly be things that surface that are buried deep, but we continue each to day ensure they know this is their family and home. Forever.
I got home from running errands today and Michael was playing XBox with his bestie Gabe, so I told him to tell his friend hello. He says "my dad says hello!". It was the first time he has referred to me as Dad rather than Chris. I though that was pretty extra cool :) Well, probably more like extraordinarily cool.... We continue to work them into our lives and it all seems normal now and we love having them as our children. Doesn't really sound weird to say I have 5 kids now.
It's been over 8 months now since they arrived in America and it continues to be one of those awesome stories you don't hear enough, which is one of the reasons I keep the blog chugging along. The media is johnny on the spot with the negative stories but don't celebrate all of the great stories of orphans who were spared a wasted (or worse....) life, to a life full of promise and potential. Neither of them talks much (none for Michael) of their past so we know as trust grows that there will undoubtedly be things that surface that are buried deep, but we continue each to day ensure they know this is their family and home. Forever.
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